Homage of the Week - Parker Kingston: Puke and Rally
Another way of conveying an honorable mention is an homage. In this weekly article we will be paying homage to the weirdest or funniest moment in college sports from the weekend, aside from the obviously stupid things sports fans do. Those moments speak for themselves. These are the moments that really stand out as head scratchers.
This week we honor BYU punt returner Parker Kingston for his 90-yard punt return touchdown against Kansas State. In any situation, a 90-yard touchdown is an incredible accomplishment. However, on this play there was SO much more happening that must be mentioned. Here’s how it went down!
First, the Kansas State punter booted a routine 40-yard punt that somehow Kingston completely misplayed resulting in the ball rolling all the way to the 10-yard line. At this point hilarity ensues. Two Kansas State defenders miss a tackle because they take each other out. That’s two wildcats lost to friendly fire. Unfortunately for Kansas State that was just the beginning.
A football field is 53.3 yards wide. Once Kingston picked up the ball something in his brain told him the best thing to do is try to sprint 53.3 yards directly across the field. Normally, this would be a horrible idea, but somehow the Wildcats made him look like a Mensa member. As Kingston crosses the field Kansas State has three different players get taken out by friendly fire. That’s right. Not one, not two, but three Wildcats are tackled by their own teammates bringing our grand total of Wildcat-on-Wildcat crime to five would-be tacklers. It’s at this point the Kansas State Special Teams coach will turn off the video in the film room out of shear embarrassment.
Next, Parker Kingston turns the corner and sprints 90 yards up the sideline for BYU’s first punt return touchdown in 11 years. For those of us who are not in the best physical shape, we understand how hard a 90-yard sprint would be, but this combined with the sprint across the entire field brought his grand total to 143 yards of sprinting. We would all be asking for an oxygen mask at the end. Parker Kingston walked to the sideline like a hero with his head held high trying to catch his breath as teammates swarmed him to congratulate and celebrate with him.
As he sat down on the bench his teammates continued to crowd him in celebration. Television cameras were focused on his every move. This would prove to be a bad decision by the broadcast team. As Kingston sat on the bench, he began to push his teammates away clearly struggling to catch his breath. It was at this moment the broadcast team showed the world exactly what Parker Kingston had to eat in the pregame meal. In a less than pleasant moment on national television, Kingston vomited approximately 27 gallons of puke. To his credit he immediately got up and walked away. In the words of the great philosopher Billy Bob from Varsity Blues, “Puke and rally!”
Kudos to you, Parker Kingston.